Massage has long been a key element in the gay man’s litany of sexual hedonism. From Roman bathhouses to today, masseurs have cleansed the body of grime and sweat, toxins and negative emotions, and men have delighted in its relaxing, restorative pleasures and deep-tissue muscle and skin care attributes, ever since.
Here’s the thing – there is no one massage or masseur comparable to the next. Every one is different. Some masseurs are good at hitting the right spot for muscle tension; some invigorate the whole body; some concentrate on the body’s chakras, such as in tantric massages; some claim to heal the body and relax the mind, while others still, offer a simple rub down with a happy ending.
When the energy is right between masseur and client, and the environment enriched with incense, candlelight, body oils and soft ethereal music, it is possible to transcend the here and now and experience waves of aftershock coursing through the body and be brought, quite literally, to tears by the experience.
This is rare, but when it happens it can be a light switch moment. A brief, yet unforgettable understanding, of the essence of what it is to be alive, connecting body and soul.
One such practitioner of the holistic massage, is @TheBearTiger. Based a short walk from Clapham Junction Station, BearTiger incorporates hot handmade candle wax, warm towels and luxury oils to their whole-body massage experience. A mystic, and heart and spiritual coach, BearTiger tailors each massage to the individual.
The heartfelt embrace that greets you as you arrive is the first signal that this is all about you, making you feel welcome and safe. ‘The number one priority for the client,’ says BearTiger, ‘is for them to feel totally relaxed, to have time-out and to leave feeling they have disconnected from the world and had the time to focus entirely on themselves.’
There’s a form and technique the trained masseur follows, and there’s a reason for what BearTiger does with each movement, aiding the body towards a deeper consciousness. The healing aspect of massage occurs when the body is in a totally relaxed and tranquil state, the mind is switched off and the body yields to the hands of the masseur, who knows where to apply pressure and how to move over the skin with their hands, forearms, or elbows.
The experience can be deeply moving and powerful, and, as it is for many of us living busy, hectic lives, the importance of touch and connection is essential to our well-being. We should not feel guilty about devoting space and time to nurture our inner selves.
At the end of my massage, there was no hurry to get me out the door. Instead, BearTiger talked about areas of my body where there was tension and offered intuitive advice, and I left feeling taller, more in tune with myself, and utterly relaxed.
BearTiger can be contacted via X @TheBearTiger or @BearTiger11 on Instagram
David Ledain 